Wasted Optimism

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Ideas for Georgia Fans Stuck With Ok-State Season Tickets

Posted by: Samuel

Option #1. Grow mullet and scalp tickets

Option #1. Grow mullet and scalp tickets

Due to the difficulty in procuring a ticket from their own school’s allotment, many Georgia fans have taken to purchasing tickets for the upcoming game, between the 9th ranked Cowboys and the 13th ranked Bulldogs, from the host school. While this is a fairly common practice for schools with large followings, what makes this situation a little different is that in buying the ticket for the one game, Georgia fans were also handed tickets to the Cowboys other 7 home games. Yes, our bizarre season ticket requirement has caused yet another awkward exchange with another fanbase who is essentially receiving a valuable commodity that is of absolutely no use to them.

Hey...thanks for these tickets to all these other games...we are going to put this right in the attic because thats where important things go.

Hey...thanks for the tickets to all these other Cowboy games...we are going to put this right in the attic... because thats where we keep all our great presents.

Well fear not Georgia fans; wastedoptimism is looking out for you and has developed a list of ideas for what you can do with those left over 7 tickets to games that you have no intention of even watching on tv, much less attending.

  • Make Cowboy season ticket friendship bracelets.
  • While in Stillwater for the UGA game….give your other 7 tickets to a homeless person.  This will hopefully lead to Ok-State having up to a few thousand homeless people in the stands for each game, which would be super-entertaining for you to watch on tv.  It will be worth it to you when watching a future Cowboy home game, the camera pans the crowd and you notice a group of disheveled dudes crowded around a burning trash can, pissing in the corners, and offering the donor section sexual favors for spare change.
  • If there are any upcoming birthdays of people you hate…. they would make a great present.
  • Add to your “tickets for events I didn’t attend and never had any intention of attending” collage you are making.
  • Mail them directly to Mike Holder with a note stating: “Mr. Holder, thank you for the extra tickets.  However, due to the fact that I live 25,000 miles away from Stillwater and have no use for them, please accept them back to do with as you please.  Sincerely, UGA fan name.”  Right when he reads the last word is when you should time the tiny explosive to go off.  Oh…did i forget to mention that you should put a tiny explosive in the box along with the ticket?  Well you should totally do that.  Nothing that will hurt anyone…just enough to destroy the tickets in small poof of white smoke.

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This entry was posted on September 1, 2009 by in season tix.
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