We are back…. well, "back"
Posted by: John
While it seems like my esteemed colleagues over here at Wasted Optimism have forgotten the true spirit of journalism I want it to go on record that when John Titmanson Jr says he’ll write a column for the Monday edition of Wasted Optimism then, in fact, John Titmanson Jr will write a damn column.
And since we’re on this thread, let me tell you a few other promises that are going to be kept.
Promise One. John Titmanson Jr will never make a morning deadline. Last time I even remember seeing the sun before 11:00 am was last Wednesday when I went to bed around 8:00 am after a serious online Madden battle between me, Big Balls Pellini and some guy who claimed to be the Gatorade boy from Iowa State. Needless to say, I got hammered on a batch of Old Crow punch while Pellini and I destroyed Gatorade Boy with insults about Austen Arnaud’s pending case of gonorrhea.
Promise Two. John Titmanson is going to find a way to go on a double date with Art Briles. I’m taking Kendall Hunter and I intend on getting lucky. Art, you’ll be lucky if you’re old lady doesn’t join us for a threesome while you wait in the car with a paper bag wrapped around a can of diet sprite.
Promise Three. If Ricky Tornado doesn’t get off my ass and start writing some decent stories, I’m going to make him referee a cage match between Michael Crabtree and Deion Sanders where the loser gets to sit next to him at the OSU/Tech game. He can also tell me about commitments the day he finally posts his own bio in the about section. A-hole.
Promise Four. I’m going to find a way to bang Kendall Hunter. I love chicks with muscular thighs.
Promise Five. Iowa State will go undefeated this year. Baylor will not win a single game. Book it.
I’ll leave you to contemplate that slate of bold promises and predictions and end with an update on the UT/Tech game on Saturday. Texas isn’t as good as their ranking. Tech wasn’t as bad as their non-ranking. Colt McCoy thanks God too much. Mack looks like he is recovering nicely from his rabies. Mike Leach can kiss my ass. Oh and Texas won by 10.