Wasted Optimism

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A Quick Summary of the NCAA’s Reaction to Recent Infractions

“When I don’t like something, I call it a communist.”
– The Boz and Glenn Beck

With the latest development concerning the OU investigation amounting to Boren saying, “Hey NCAA, everything is cool here.  Read this letter”, and the NCAA responding with, “OK sir.” I figured it was a good time to compare some of the current and recent NCAA investigations.

USC
Violation – Boosters paying players, buying houses for family, etc..

University Response – Stall, stall, stall

NCAA Reaction – “Hey USC… it’s us… the NCAA.  You remember that bad stuff you did all those years ago?… You know, the stuff it has taken us half-a-decade to investigate?.. Well we are going to punish you by going back in time and making sure you don’t win some of those games or those Heismans and junk.  And if we can’t time travel then we will just tell everyone now that you didn’t really win those things… Take that USC!”

Michigan
Violation – Too many coaches, too much practice.

University Response –  Release statement informing everyone that everything is taken care of and there is nothing more to see here.

NCAA Reaction – “Oh you took care of it… cool… see ya later.”

Oklahoma
Violation – A current, then former, assistant coach had a lot of contact with a financial guy who gave money to a current, then former, player.

University Response – Write a letter that says, “Hey, we play by the rules here.”

NCAA Reaction – “Sweet letter, thanks man…. I guess now we can stop investigating and just stay home and watch NCIS.”

Dez Bryant
Violation – Took a Zumba class with Deion Sanders.

University Response – Cooperation.  Held player of next game while details were sorted out.

NCAA Reaction – “WE WILL NOT TOLERATE THIS KIND OF BEHAVIOR!  ACTION MUST BE TAKEN, AND AN EXAMPLE MUST BE MADE SO THAT OTHERS WILL KNOW NOT TO FUCK WITH THE NCAA!  FIFTY YEAR SUSPENSION! ”

So I guess the lesson in all of this is: Don’t be one guy that screws up… be a powerful university with lots of bureaucracy and bullshitting ADs and Presidents. Also have letter writing materials.

(Wow… this post is really whiny…. AND there were two golf posts on Friday.  Now this is finally starting to feel like an OSU website!)

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This entry was posted on June 7, 2010 by in Dez.
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