Wasted Optimism

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Art Briles back from Vacation

Art Briles was surprised today to learn of the recent Big 12 conference shake up during his weekly ManPrayer meeting at the local Waco iHop on 4th Street.

Briles, who has apparently been on a church retreat titled “Exorcising the Demon Pussy in You” was unaware that both Nebraska and Colorado had left the conference and that Baylor’s Board of Regents were now considering changing their team name from the Bears to Bevo’s Little Bitch.

“Shucks”, said Briles, when asked for a comment.  “I wish someone had told me.  I’ve always wanted to explore realignment possibilities with Abilene Christian University, Southern Nazarene University and maybe TCU or Notre Dame.”

When asked for his thoughts about a conference scenario involving Baylor, TCU AD Chris Del Conte mumbled and continued to give Gary Patterson his weekly blow job per his new contract terms.  Notre Dame’s Jack Swarbrick merely sent in a faxed copy of what appears to be his own poo.

All in all, Briles said he was happy with the new direction of the Big 12.  “I don’t really think we’ll be more competitive or anything,” says Briles, “but it sure will be nice to not have Bo Pelini trying to kick my ass every time we have a Big 12 conference meeting.”


2 comments on “Art Briles back from Vacation

  1. Samuel Bryant
    June 17, 2010

    Johnny? I heard you were dead… trampled at a Mariah Carey concert. Great to see that was just a rumor that I started and you are actually doing fine.

  2. John Titmanson
    June 17, 2010

    I’ve actually been off Mariah (that’s what she said) since she started twittering pictures of her puppy. She wants to see twitters? Wait till I post some of the sick shit I took in the hot tub during the Thai leg of the Emancipation of Mimi tour. Let’s just say that’s not my arm she’s holding.

    These days it’s all Justin Beiber. All the time. That kid has NFL written all over him. Hope he winds up a Horn.

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This entry was posted on June 17, 2010 by in Baylor, Bo Big Balls Pelini, Conference Realignment.
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