We are back…. well, "back"
At the risk of sounding too much like some delusional crew-cut wearing nut-grabber from A&M I’m going to come out and make the prediction that O-State will be 6-0 going into the Nebraska game this year.
Bold? Maybe. Stupid. Maybe. Let’s just say I’ve taken a look at both the tangible and less than tangible aspects of the schedule and will be heading to Vegas on the next Southwest flight out of Love. Hold the peanuts, Sweetheart, I brought my own beef jerky and a plastic flask.
Let’s take a look at the schedule.
Washington State – I’m paraphrasing my friend Sam here when I say that Washington State has perhaps the worst football team since an Austin Arnaud-less Iowa State. Their recruit list reads like a list of two star future grocery baggers at the local Kroger and I believe they still play on a cement parking lot next to the Ocean Sciences building. O-State wins and wins big.
Troy – I actually like Troy. They play football in the shadow of Roll Tide so nobody ever takes them seriously, their team name is Trojans (get it, it’s like the condom), O-State is the ONLY decent team they face for 2010 so they’ll be up for it and they actually should have a good chance of repeating as champs in the Sun Belt this year. Unfortunately for Troy, they’re replacing a quarterback, four guys off their defensive line and two linebackers and I just don’t see the talent level they have left being good enough to compete in T. Boone Pickens. O-State wins a closer than it should be game.
Tulsa – Tulsa finished the season ranked 89/120 in the Massey rankings last year. Yes, they get to sharpen their ball-slinging skills every year on the guys from East Carolina, SMU and Memphis but I’ve heard from my inside source (an ex-Tulsa cheerleader named Bridget actually who can actually stick her entire fist in her mouth) that Tulsa is planning on sitting most of their starters this year until they play Notre Dame. O-State takes this one by 21.
Texas A&M – Jerrod Johnson is overrated. Every time I hear his name I think of that great dual-threat Texas A&M quarterback Reggie McNeil who’s currently tearing it up in Canada with the Toronto Argonauts. The 12th Man and Wrecking Crew were last relevant in the late 80’s and I’m getting the impression that Mike Sherman is about as good at recruiting as Bo Pellini is at ballet. This year, the Aggies are predicting an 8-10 win season for themselves and the talk over at Texags.com is all about whether they’ll be playing Texas or OU for the last Big 12 Championship. I remember the last time I heard this…. Oh yeah, it was last year when they went 5-7 and lost to O-State with a better defense than the one they’ll field this year. O-State wins by forfeit because A&M oversleeps resting up for their “real” competition.
Louisiana-Lafayette – C’mon. The Rajun Cajuns are picked to finish 6th in the Sun Belt Conference which, unlike Troy, means they can’t even claim to be kings of the dipshits. They’ve been bowl eligible for the past 3 or 4 seasons but haven’t been invited to a bowl, their running game ranked them 7th/of 9 in their conference and they lost their best lineman. Roll Pokes.
Texas Tech – Tuberville’s a good coach, Tech’s got some good offensive players still including most of their backs and receivers but I’m just not feeling them this year. Tuberville says he’ll continue the Tech spread offense which is totally different from what he ran at Auburn, he’s lost most of his assistant coaches including Ruffin McNeil who basically kept the defense from imploding and at the end of the day I just think Tech spends most of this season looking back and missing Leach as opposed to looking ahead and winning. I think Weeden has his feet under him by now, Hot Chick Hunter is running injury-free and catching out of the backfield, O-State wins by a nose and everyone’s a little surprised.
So there you have it. John Titmanson, Jr’s totally subjective and slightly inebriated opinions on how O-State rolls into the Nebraska game at 6-0. Use this info at the Sports Book and I want a cut.